First dates can be stressful and awkward, but they don’t have to be. There are many simple things a man can do to make a good impression on a first date and to avoid ruining the evening.
Make a Plan
Every date needs a plan; the first thing you must do on a date is plan it. I firmly believe the man should plan the first date. Planning shows initiative and willingness to put in effort. First impressions are crucial, and that starts even before the date ever begins. So please put thought into planning your date. Take responsibility and take it upon yourself to plan the date to make sure both of you have an excellent time.
If you are interested, you can read another post I wrote and consider some of my thoughts on Who Should Plan the First Date.
Make Yourself Presentable
This should be obvious, but in case it is not, you need to look your best on a first date. This means taking a shower, combing your hair, smelling good, making sure your fingernails aren’t nasty, and all the other essential grooming and hygiene things you should do. If you need a haircut, then get one. Women usually put in a lot of effort when getting ready for a date; you can put in some effort, too. Don’t be lazy. Putting in a little extra time is well worth the effort. You will be ahead of the game if you put more effort into it than everyone else.
You absolutely must wear clean clothes without wrinkles on a first date. Iron or steam your clothes when you are going on a date. You should take this seriously. Also, make sure not to overdo it on the cologne or aftershave. That’s nasty and does not help anyone. Use it in moderation.
You should also shine your shoes or boots regularly, especially when you go on a date. You can also clean your sneakers and laces if you are going casual.
Dress for the Occasion
Knowing how to dress is really important. Your outfit should match the occasion. I personally like to take women out to dinner for a first date. I live in New York and like nice restaurants, so I always wear a suit or at least a suit jacket with nice jeans to dinner. I generally think it would be better to go on a date a little overdressed than underdressed.
Age and setting matter here. A suit would be a bit much if you are twenty and going out for burgers. Use your best judgment, but put thought into how you dress. Take it seriously. A good place to start is wearing clothes that fit you properly and are clean. That goes for your shoes as well.
Your outfit should match the venue. If you are going for a walk in the park, you probably don’t want to wear a suit either. I might wear jeans, nice sneakers or boots, and a button-up shirt or sweater. If it’s cold, I would wear a leather jacket. So, make sure the energy and vibe you present yourself with match the vibe of the experiance.
Show Up Early
As I mentioned I live in New York and typically have gone on dinner dates in Manhattan. In New York, it is very common for people to meet at the restaurant when going out to dinner. I always show up ten minutes early. It is better to be a few minutes early than a few minutes late. It is very nice for you to be standing outside the restaurant, ready to meet her. That’s what I do.
If you are going to pick her up, you can be there a little early, too, but don’t go ring her bell too early. You want to avoid messing the date up. By aiming to be early, you avoid concerns like traffic or if the subway is late. Shoot for getting there early so that you don’t get there late. Being late will make the wrong first impression. We want you to come off as a high-quality gentleman, not as some guy who can’t get to the date on time and is full of excuses. Being early for a first date is highly important in my book.
Smile
A first date can be awkward. The woman doesn’t know if you are creepy, a jerk, or a nice guy. So, help her feel at ease by giving her a little smile when you see her arrive. This simple act makes the experience pleasant and releases some first-date pressure. The date should be as comfortable as possible. A little smile goes a long way to make people feel good.
I love it when I see the girl I am going out with, and she shows up, giving me a smile. You can do the same for her. You might be nervous, but hopefully, you are more happy to see her than you are nervous. Smiling on a first date is a great way to keep things up beat and friendly.
Compliment Her
One thing a man should always do on a first date is compliment the woman. I advise that you think of something nice to say at some point. Ideally, when you first see her.
If you compliment a woman when you first meet her on your date, it will start things off on a positive note. Most people like compliments. Just make sure you don’t lay it on too thick. Keep it cool and to the point. You don’t need to overdo it.
I suggest complimenting her appearance, telling her, “You look great,” “You look amazing,” or even “You look beautiful,” which is a fine way to start things off. Be sincere. Say what you mean and think. There is nothing wrong with letting a woman know you like her; just don’t go overboard. It’s ok if you feel a little uncomfortable giving her a compliment but you should try anyway. If it helps, I have another post on Why You Should Compliment a Girl on the First Date.
Hold the Door
I believe the gentleman should always try to hold the door for a lady, especially on a first date. As discussed, I like to meet the woman outside, as is customary in New York City. I smile, compliment her, and open the door for her to enter the restaurant. This starts everything off right.
The lady will hopefully appreciate the gentlemanly gesture of getting the door. It makes her feel like you put in effort and will be good to her. These types of little things go a long way toward signaling your quality. Putting in effort will always outperform low effort. This may be the most critical lesson I can give you. Little things go a long way, so please hold the door for a lady on the first date.
Ask Her Questions
Nothing can ruin a date like not showing any interest in her. So please don’t sit there and talk about yourself all night, and definitely don’t sit there not talking at all. Ask her questions and be interested in the responses. Please get to know her and engage in discussions. Asking her questions lets her know that you care about getting to know her as a person. Try to make the questions about her and not too generic. Do your best. Some people are better at this than others, but the fact is you can get better at it with practice. Don’t be nervous; just try to have a nice, engaging conversation.
Pay
I do believe the man should pay, especially on the first date. Paying goes back to the most basic principle that signals your interest in providing for your date. This is a good sign that you may be a good choice for pursuing a relationship.
I strongly suggest you pay on a first date. There was a study done on Gender Roles in the Millennium: Who Pays and is Expected to Pay for Romantic Dates? This Study showed in a small sample of heterosexual college students that the male paid 84.9% of the time on a first date. Just something to think about.
Let Her Know You Had a Good Time
You want to end the date on a high note. So be a gentleman and tell her what you think. If I enjoyed my date, I always told them. If I want to see them again, I tell them. As we get ready to say goodnight, I might say something like, “I had a great time and would like to see you again if you are interested.” There is nothing wrong with telling her how you feel, but please be reasonable and do not lay it on too thick. You must also be prepared for whatever she says, especially if she does not feel the same as you.
It is ok to tell her you want to see her again while on your first date. Do it towards the end of the night and be prepared, but it is always good to end the date on a positive note.
