Dating can feel complicated, but it doesn’t have to. First dates are especially stressful and require planning. Nowadays, many people are concerned about roles in dating, which adds another level of complexity to the first date. You should make up your own mind about dating roles. One thing you should know is that it is better to plan the first date than not.
Who Should Plan the First Date?
Traditionally, the man should plan the first date. Planning the date is a sign of effort and interest in the other person you are going out with. Making a plan signals thoughtfulness, preparedness, dependability, and effort.
I am a man who consistently plans the first date. I am happy to plan the date and actually prefer doing it. I think it is good for a man to plan dates, especially the first date, and everything I have learned from women over the years tells me most of them agree.
Planning the Date is a Good Look
If you are relationship-focused, the first date is about making a good first impression and deciding if you want to see each other again. When the man plans the first date, he starts the date off on the right foot by making an excellent first impression. The woman already sees that he is interested in her enough for him to put thought and time into planning the date. This first impression also puts you ahead of the game compared to other men who do not plan dates.
You want her to be excited to see you, and making a plan is a great way to start that off. I am sure you have heard women say they like a “Man with a plan.” Well, don’t forget it. As a man, you can plan the date, or you can not. Which do you think makes you look better?
Think of the advantages of planning the date. It says that perhaps in the future, you will show up for your date with a plan, resulting in making her life easier. Planning also signals that you are forward-thinking and someone this woman can count on. This impression can give you a big checkmark in the positive traits category. She will be more likely to see you as a high-quality man if you make a plan than if you don’t. Taking the initiative will always outperform a lack of effort.
What Does it Say About You if You Don’t Plan the Date?
Not planning the first date shows laziness and a lack of interest. I don’t know about you, but I have never met a woman who sits around saying,” I hope I meet a lazy guy.” I have never heard a woman say, “I sure hope this guy doesn’t bother putting in any effort and makes me do everything instead.” It is good to take initiative in dating (and also in life, but that’s a different conversation). You should think about how your actions affect others and what your actions signal to other people. If planning signals effort, what do you think not planning would signal?
If you are a man and want the woman to appreciate you, then maybe you should try to earn that appreciation. Planning the first date is a great way to start. Please put in the effort; you need to give her a reason to be interested in you. She also needs to earn your interest in her, but think of it this way: women put way more effort into getting ready for a date than men do most of the time. We get ready quickly. They need to do their hair, nails, and make-up, not to mention they often try on several different outfits before leaving the house. So, the least you can do is make a plan to balance out the fact that you can get ready in less than half the time.
It is not OK to Play It By Ear on a First Date.
I am in a relationship with a woman who told me about a man she once went on a date with (before she met me). When she met him for their date, she asked, “So where are we going?” His response was, “Let’s play it by ear.” That was a terrible response, and I can tell you, she did not see him again. What type of woman would want to hear “Let’s play it by ear” on a first date? Would’t having a plan be better.
Please put in effort, gentlemen! Stop the nonsense and put in the work to meet a good woman. What kind of woman do you think you will end up with if you aren’t putting in the work? Low effort will produce low-quality results. High effort should produce high-quality results. It’s simple. Always remember to ask what your behavior says about you to others.
Plan the First Date, Gentlemen
A gentleman would plan the first date. I personally like planning the date, and I hope you do as well. This is one of many things you can do to make a good impression on a date. If you want to improve your first date skills I have another post you can look at on Ten Things a Man Should Do on a First Date. Planning is definitely high on the list and should be important to you in your dating journey but remember the effort doesn’t stop there.
When it comes to dating, you need to decide who you want to be and how you want to act. You can do more, or you can do less; it’s up to you, but which stance do you think will get you better results? Effort will always be better than lack of effort. I think this should be an obvious point that we can all agree on. So let’s take our efforts seriously.
I hope you take some initiative and make a conscious effort to put in the effort. Your date deserves it. Now go out there and plan a date, and don’t forget to have fun doing it!
