People often ask if a man should open a door for a woman on a date or other occasion. If you are wondering about the right move here, think of this straightforward point: opening a door for someone is a small way of doing a nice thing. So you need to ask yourself a simple question: Do you want to be the type of guy who holds doors open or who doesn’t?
Should Men Open the Door on a Date?
Opening a door for someone is a sign of courtesy and kindness. It is good to open a door for anyone. This behavior is especially helpful on a date, making the woman feel respected by the gentlemanly act. Opening a door on a date is good manners and lets the woman know you are thoughtful.
I always hold the door for people, even when not on a date. I even hold the door for men or groups of people. It’s just a nice thing to do. These little gestures go a long way toward presenting yourself as a gentleman and, more importantly, showing others respect.
Make a Good Impression and Open the Door
If you are a man walking into a restaurant with your date, why not just take the lead and open the door. Hold it open for her and let her through. This is such an easy, polite thing to do. You will make a good impression, especially if this is a first date.
Holding a door also signals initiative, which is a positive trait to have. You step up and take care of it. Although it seems like a simple act, it says a lot about you when you do it and speaks poorly of you when you don’t.
Science Shows Women Prefer Men Who Open Doors
In a study on female mate preferences conducted by Pelin Gul, the (female) researcher said:
“Evidence shows that many women—even those who desire egalitarian relationships—want a man to be chivalrous, by, for example, paying for dates and opening doors for them.”
This indicates that women generally prefer men to open doors for them. Women appreciate certain traditional gender roles that exhibit chivalry, which can be perceived as positive signals for mate selection. Many women can consider it a positive sign when a man holds the door open for them.
The study consistently showed that women rated men as more attractive when they held doors open and performed other traditional gender role behaviors compared to men who didn’t. For example, in one of several studies they conducted using a scale of 1 to 7, women rated men 5.46 who held doors open (as well as performing other traditional gentlemanly acts) compared to men who didn’t, which the women rated an average of 3.95. That clearly shows a female preference for chivalrous behavior.
In another one of the studies conducted in this series, women rated what they saw as the man’s “Perceived relationship interest” for the chivalrous men on an average of 6.45 on a scale of 1 to 7. In contrast, the nonchivalrous men were rated on average with a perceived interest of 4.42. This shows that behaviors like holding a door would help a woman to conclude that the man is, in fact, interested in her.
We can draw two conclusions from this study: holding a door open can make you more attractive to a woman, and holding it open can help her know you are interested. Let’s rephrase this in reverse to show how important it is to open a door for a woman on a date and how not doing so can hinder you. Not performing chivalrous acts when on a date can lead to women perceiving you as less attractive and concluding that you have a lower level of interest in them. Which of these options sounds better to you? I’m going with the idea that it’s better to hold the door and make a good impression.
There is No Downside to Opening the Door
One thing to consider about holding a door open for a woman is that this has no downside. In the best-case scenario, she will feel appreciated and see you as well-mannered and polite. In the worst-case scenario, there is literally nothing I can think of. No harm can come from holding a door. It is just being friendly and polite.
As I mentioned, I have always held doors open for people in day-to-day life. This applies everywhere, so I don’t see this as a big deal. It’s just what I do. So take a second and ask yourself if you want to be the guy who opens doors or has others hold doors for you. Maybe you can take initiative and start holding doors more often for strangers. It will be a nice thing to do for them and make you feel good about yourself for taking this simple task on as your responsibility. This can help build your confidence, elevating you to being a high-quality gentleman.
My Experience Holding Doors on Dates
I always hold the door for my dates and have had many women comment on how they appreciate it. Women often say that men don’t do that anymore and that it makes them feel good when I do. Holding the door is a way to stand out against other guys who just aren’t putting in effort.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to make a good impression on a first date. I strongly suggest you make sure to open the door for her on your first date. You should also do it on all other dates to come, but especially the first date. If you want to read more tips, I have a list of Ten Things a Man Should Do on a First Date.
Start by Holding Doors for Random People
If you feel awkward or uncomfortable holding open a door on a date, why don’t you practice in everyday life? Just go through your day-to-day and start opening doors for people. Please don’t overdo it, and avoid being creepy. If someone is clearly twenty feet away, you don’t need to get the door (unless it’s your date).
Just see what happens when you open the door for strangers. See how many times you can get a thank you. Does someone saying thank you make you feel good? It does for me.
Gentlemen Open the Door on Dates
It is safe to say that if someone asked what the traits of a gentleman are, one of the responses would be holding open doors. So, do you want to be a gentleman or not?
It’s always better to be a little more polite and helpful than not to be. Now, gentlemen, let’s get out there and hold open some doors.
